Page 137:
"...drawing the Charted sphere in vivid golden light."
- I think it should be "Charted Sphere"
Page 139:
"The gas giant lies on the far side of the system, opposite the arrival point of the Greatship."
- The star system map on the same page is counterintuitive to this description. I guess this means that the NIMIS gas giant is 40 AD + 44 AD from the Slipstream tributary? And not just 4 AD between them (44-40)?
Pages 140-141:
- The whole chain of events is a little bit confusing. I assume that the envoys meet the representatives in one of the hangar decks of Rigel? And after the initial attack the two shuttles outside will open fire on the Rigel. So all described attacks are targeting the Rigel.
- "In the aftermath of the attack, both the Rigel and Akhander sustain damage to their drives, sensors, and exterior."
Page 142:
- Make sure the distances on this page makes sense with the distances on page 139.
- "... but damaged halved..."
Page 145:
"...to the bottom using AGILITY., failure leads..."
- Remove the full stop after AGILITY