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(This is only my opinion of some of the text in the beta version of the pdf released, so I thought to make a separate thread to have a gripe about minor matters in the pdf that show my failings more than those of the authors!)

April 23
On page 92 column 2 paragraph 3 line 3 it reads "....Dunedains numbers had grown very THIN..."

Imho I don't like this phrase. Numbers are a quantity, and not a dimension. The numbers might grow LESS or SMALLER, or even simply DIMINISH, but it feels an odd construct to read the number getting thin.

(This actually echoes a phrase mentioned by Hugo Weaving in the film version of the Fellowship of the Ring, , when his Elrond complains to Gandalf that the "list of allies grows thin." A list should not get thin, it might be SHORT however. )

Page 9 Column 2 Paragraph 2 line 10 reads " when even the following Master abandoned his post"
Does this need this use of the word "even" at this point?

Page 24 Column 2 paragraph 4 (this is the paragraph just before The Mines of Harmelt) lines 5 and 6 reads
" ... there is only a single individual alone in the hall, a terrible death will come for that lone fool." This has four words referring to the idea of being solitary, and it reads a bit heavy-handed or awkward to me. Deleting the word alone in this sentence seems to improve it to me.

Page 77 column 1 paragraph 5 THE HAUNTED CHAMBER lines 1 and 3 contain a double use of the word "hidden". Maybe delete one of these uses, or change the second use to read " also hidden". It reads easier to me that way.

There’s a pinned thread for this kind of feedback.

I looked at the top thread, and didn't feel that my opinions and questions would be helpful in that thread, which seemed to be asking expressly for typos and mistakes.

The issues I put in here don't seem to be actual typos, and may well be simply my poor interpretation. They seem more Q and A to me. I didn't want to complicate that thread with more general back & forth commentary, so I thought to make this one.
If it's not relevant or useful, no problem.

Oh, yeah, I didn’t actually read the first post. It’s not really for general “feedback” but for errors/typos.

They’re a week or so from printing so I expect clarity and accuracy are the objective. Thinning the number of typos makes sense, and yeah, plenty of room for wishing for different word choices.

They’re a week or so from printing so I expect clarity and accuracy are the objective. Thinning the number of typos makes sense, and yeah, plenty of room for wishing for different word choices.

It's too bad they don't let us have the PDF sooner.

Oh, yeah, I didn’t actually read the first post. It’s not really for general “feedback” but for errors/typos.

Maybe there's a Typo in the title of the pinned thread: replace "Feedback" with "Proofreading" !

The comment I mistakenly put in the proofreading thread is that I really don't like this passage on page 74:

If the Company investigates the camp, they are first met by an Elven scout, Brethil, armed with a bow. He stops the Playerheroes, asking about their business in these lands. He is suspicious, but has reasons to befriend the Company — one of his companions is wounded, and needs help.

If the Player-heroes win Brethil’s trust, they are led to the camp. There are two more Elves there, Randur, a scholar, and Sulrien, a warrior. Randur is wounded, and clearly in pain he will gladly accept any help from the Player-heroes, explaining the reason for the Elves’ presence in return.

Elves "gladly accepting help", potentially from non-elves, in healing? Nonsense. They'll as soon as for help writing a song.

There are several other ways this could have been set up without anything so preposterous. Or it could have been left open as a possibility, if there were any Elven or Ranger scholars in the group.

There were several of these other plot elements in the book that I thought were both jarringly improbable, and not necessary.

Fortunately, we are all free to LM these things however we see fit.

Page 109:
"The fight had taken them up a tall hill, where Arlas, the tallest and oldest willow tree in all of Eriador, rose."

Don't willow trees grow in wet lowlands, not hilltops? Any botanists around?

Am NOT a botanist (physics, me!)
But willow trees are several varieties:
The Scoular Willow has extensive roots and is often planted to stabilise hillsides - however, it typically grows up to 12m or so. Not really qualifying for largest & most impressive.
A Black Cottonwood (California poplar) tree will grow well on hillsides (60m height) however. But not a willow.

The "Major Oak " near Edwinstowe, Nottinghamshire, UK (As in Sherwood Forest/Robin Hood) is an extensive oak that apparently seeded in a slight dip in the surrounding ground. The dip encouraged the pooling of water from the slightly higher surrounding ground - giving it a disproportionate share of rainfall. It has been speculated that this encouraged the growth of this named oak which is probably about 500 to 600 years old and was an acorn when Robin Hood was (in theory) alive.

Maybe Arlas, the Greatest of Willows, is in a bowl-like depression on this hillside and has a soggy bottom to grow in?

(none of these ideas have undergone extensive fact checking, so botanists, Huorns and Ents please have sympathy)