Page 97 : Polearm Fighting : the description doesn’t impose that the attack roll that suffers disadvantage comes from a creature within your reach.
Page 97, Shield Fighting : The description doesn’t impose that the target of the slam is within 5 feet of you, which is logical for a shield (for example with shield + whip, you could slam at 10 feet).
Page 97 : Shield Fighting : « saving throw against 10 plus your Strength modifier. » usually 8+Proficiency+Ability is used, and you are using different formulas for the different approaches. That’s confusing.
Page 108, Leveled Spells : With this description, a mystic of level N has N+1 spell. That’s a small number. Could there be a possibility to forget one spell in order to learn another ? Like in 5E for example, when you gain level, for sorcerers, warlocks, etc. Some spells are really useful at 1st level, as Sleep, but after a while it becomes useless. It could be frustrating for players to be stuck with a now useless spell when they reach higher level.
Page 122, Nature’s Lullaby : what is the Range, maximum duration of the feature ? Does it work if companions make noise like casting spells ? The description states « invisible », not unheard. Also, what is the creature has special senses like blindsight ? It should explain clearly the senses affected.
Page 122, Beast Shapes : there is a Table stating that different shapes are possible at 2nd, 4th, 8th level. But according to the description above « You receive the first benefit when you make the choice and the additional benefits from the chosen path when you gain your next Approach feature », you cannot benefit from Shapeshifter until level 6. So theTable could be simpler.
Page 122, Beast Shapes, 3rd § gives Call Lightning as an example, but I have not found this spell in the Witch’s spell list. Another spell name could be chosen.
Page 123, Song of Spring : As stated, you could restore at 6th level 30hp to EACH creature that can hear you, simultaneously. That’s almost unlimited, and the scaling with levels keeps this feature overpowered for the level. It can be used in combat, no corruption, it really outshines the theurg healing power such as Medicus.
Page 124, Loremaster. The layout of the text is different (indentation) and clearer that Loremaster for the Ironsworn.
This time the Advantage at saving throw against magic is the only potent feature of the Approach, so it does not fell unbalanced.
Page 124, Ritual Mastery : Is it the intent to compensate for the fact that rituals are rarely used ? There should be an explanation to help players make their choice between non ritual and ritual spells.
page 125 : the comment on the drawing is not in English.
Page 126, Scoundrel Shadows « a ranger is cloaked by a green so dark it seems black that obscures their movements. » unclear formulation, maybe « a ranger is cloaked by a green so dark it seems a black fog obscures their movements. »
Page 128, Scoundrel Approaches, « sappers that attack the foundations « misses capital S for « Sappers ».
Page 130, Poisoner : « If you fail by four or less, the creature must make a Constitution saving throw as above, but the effect only lasts until the end of its next turn. » Does it imply that no d6 poison damage is inflicted ? It should specify it, as players will ask.
Page 131, Blade Work : « If you’re wielding only knives or daggers and your opponent has longer weapons they have disadvantage on their attack rolls against you. » Permanent Dodge, very powerful. But what does it mean exactly : you use plural, do you have to wield one dagger in each hand, or 1 free hand is possible ? What is a longer weapon ? With what property ? What about natural weapons, does it depend on the monster’s size ?
Page 131, Cheap Shot : Dodge as a Bonus Action, again a permanent advantage for an Approach while some others are far from having such powerful features. I fear it unbalances the game. And it is more or less redundant with 6th level Blade Work ability.
Also, the saving throw for the Stun part is 10+proficiency+ability. You are using different formulas for the different classes, that’s confusing. Sometimes 8+Prof+Abi, as 5E, sometimes 10+Ability (as Captain Shield Fighting), sometimes 10+prof+abi as here. I suggest one formula is better for the DM’s head.
- Page 131, Blacksmith : the feature doesn’t specify what exactly can you fabricate ? Weapon, armor, for you only, for horses also, any metal object ?
page 132, missing picture on the top right maybe ?
Page 133, Feint : it is quite ineffective until 6th level, as the opponent gains Advantage on potentially several attacks (it is not said if only one attack is concerned), and you don’t gain Adv and therefore cannot use Backstab normally. At 6h level it gets better but can you cumulate this use of your Bonus Action with the Feint at 1st level that gives a Reaction attack ?
The text mixes singular and plural « when an opponent attacks you they have advantage », « when opponents attack you they have advantage » seems nicer.
Page 133, Poisoner : different formula 10+Prof+Ability to calculate DC, confusing.
Same remark, « if you fail by 4 or less » should say that only the condition applies, not the damage, as players will ask.
- Page 134, Strangler : the formulation is awkward : « if you are grappling a creature your size or smaller and have both your hands empty » while Grappling requires a hand to Grapple… Maybe it could be formulated « if you attempt a Grapple with 2 free hands, you can instead use a garotte… »
What is an Escape Attempt. Breaking the Grapple with Acrobatics or Athletics ? It could be explained. The description could also state that it does not affect undeads, constructs, creatures made of woods, etc… ie. creatures that do not breathe the usual way.
Page 135, the comment on the image is not in English.
Page 136, Polearm fighting : the description doesn’t impose that the attack roll that suffers disadvantage comes from a creature within your reach.
Page 137, Shield Fighting : The description doesn’t impose that the target of the slam is within 5 feet of you, which is logical for a shield (for example with shield + whip, you could slam at 10 feet).
Also the Saving Throw against the Slam has 10+Strength calculation, which mixes with 8+Prof+Abil, or 10+Prof+Abil found elsewhere in the book. Please one calculation only for the DM.
Page 137, Approach : it talks about captain, or sellsword, which are respectively a Class and a Background, not an Approach of this class. Confusing.
Page 138, it seems 1 drawing is missing top right.
Page 139 Feint. Same remarks as page 133 above.
Page 140, Peerless effort : permanent advantage, but at 17th level it shouldn’t be such a balance problem.
Page 141, Blacksmith : same remark as p.131 above.
Page 141, Iron Fist : permanent advantage, but at 17th level it shouldn’t be such a balance problem.
Page 142, Rune Tattoo : 1st level description doesn’t specify if it lasts while you are incapacitated or unconscious, which could be important.
Page 142, Rune Tattoo : the 3rd level and 9th level feature don’t specify how long they last. 1 round, 1 minute, 24 hours ?
Page 142, Rune Tattoo : the 6th level feature doesn’t say if it works while you are incapacitated or unconscious.