Fria Ligans forum

First off thank you so much for all the "roll tables" for character creation! It was so fun to make a random character this way! However, I was thinking the order of pages for Character creation were oddly placed. Here is my reasoning; the creation list order goes as following with the page its actually on. I will also put {New page suggestion here} at the end of each list number. So you see what I mean more easily hopefully.

1 Roll or choose your origin and take its talent. (p20) {Stay as is}

2 ( was 10) Roll or choose the reason you became an Explorer. (p24) {p21 it just flows better. Take all of page 24 and move it here instead. Though I would switch names and appearance positions with Reasons why you became an explorer.}

3 ( was 9) Roll or choose your name and appearance. (p24) {see above}

4 (was 2) Choose your profession. (p30 start) { Page 22 should be a portion of the OG page 21. Leave all the blurbs but talents and Quirk. (could leave talents and state more details in the next chapter) Replace with mini complete list of all the specialties or a picture/doodle. I would like a full list to just have right there but it might be redundant. Could also move "Equipment" and "Carry limit" and "Starting Capitol" up here instead so the "Quirk" blurb is with the quirk list. Then follow with the splat pages of each Profession starting on page 23. This is what started it all to be honest it being p30 just seems silly I'm having to scroll 10 pages up and down. Just no, please if anything move this!}

5 (was 3) Roll or choose your specialty and take its talent. (p30 start) {see above for reason}
6 (was 8) Roll or choose your equipment. {If its been moved like suggestion above}
7 (was 4) Distribute 24 points on your six attributes.
8 (was 5) Calculate your Health, Hope, and Heart scores.
9 (was 6) Distribute 3 additional talent points. (p50) {For better flow I would move this to just after the profession splat pages instead of being in the next chapter. This is also where you put the blurb from the OG page 21 of Talents as well. If you don't want to do that move this line from 6 to 15 of the creation process list. It flows better.}

10 (was 7) Roll or choose a quirk and keepsake. {Moved Keepsake here because it makes since if the blurb about Equipment is also moved to another spot}

11 Assemble your crew and give it a name. (p25) {See below}
12 Note your crew maneuvers. (p54) {Honestly I would move this up with "Assemble your crew" area. Even if its a "Core Mechanic" It just flows and is more easily found and there is no flipping of pages if all the info is right there in one spot rather then pages away.}

13 (was 14) Choose your Bird type and note its powers.
14 (was 15) Choose your shuttle and rover.
15 (was 13) Get equipment from the Explorers Guild.

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I'm also going to suggestion switching the following chapters for better flow as well. However, I will note that honestly, if they remain the way they are its fine. The above suggestions for the layout of Character creation is far more a priority then these.

{switch to chapter 2} Chapter 3 "Core Mechanics"
{switch to chapter 3} Chapter 2 "Your Explorer"
{switch to chapter 4} Chapter 5 "The Bird & Its Powers"
{switch to chapter 5} Chapter 6 "Equipment & Vehicles"
{switch to chapter 6} Chapter 4 "Combat & Hazards"

Thank you for taking the time to read them and for creating this wonderful game!

p.16
Your crew consists of five members, each with a
different roll to perform:

Should be: role

Hi!

Page 25: Profession
"...including your attributes,
talents, and and equipment, so choose wisely."

Should remove an 'and'.

Page 151:

"...the Cave Gardens and the Turbine Halls were zapti will fine anyone breaking the law on the spot.".

Should be "where" instead of "were".

…

pg 132 (chapter 8) says:

There are six main edicts that are considered the cornerstone of guild law (see the adjacent sidebar)

when the sidebar is, in fact, in pg. 151 (chapter 9), all of nineteen pages later and in a whole another chapter.

Page 244:

• "... as free downloads from the Free League web site..." - I think website is the more common spelling than web site.

Page 247:

• "Use puzzles to let the players, rather than their Explorers..." - Should players really be in italics here?

Page 254:

• Oneshot vs one shot. On page 254 you sometime write oneshot, and other times one shot.

• "... or as extensive as a multi-year campaigns spanning several..." - Should be campaign and not campaigns in this sentence.

Page 256:
Delving principles

• Sometime you write Explorers, and sometime explorers. To be consistent you should probably change explorer to Explorer.

Creating a delve

• "...connections between key locations." - This is the only sentence that ends with a punctuation. You probably should remove this punctuation for consistency.

Page 260:

• "Before the Builder were the..." - It probably should be Builders and not Builder.

Page 261:

• "... overcame the Builder countermeasures." - Builders' or Builder?