• 1
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
 
User avatar
Exile
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri 23 Apr 2021, 13:48

Re: Urban Operations Early Access Feedback

Tue 15 Nov 2022, 17:56

Page 70, Veronika's profile:

"Specialties: Electrician, Scientists"

Unless she can split into multiple people, drop the final 's'.

I think that the odd phrasing of "short, dark hair and eyes" for her and "long, dark eyes hair" for Masha have both previously been pointed out. It's perhaps also worth noting that neither description seems to fit its accompanying illustration: Veronika's hair seems to fall past her shoulders, while Masha is portrayed as a blonde.
 
Azrael20
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun 09 Jan 2022, 20:24

Re: Urban Operations Early Access Feedback

Tue 22 Nov 2022, 21:47

Typo, page 70: in Ewa's description.

"Ewa is 12-years-old girl and one of the scavengers who finds parts for the plant."

Should be: Ewa is a 12-year-old girl.

Typo, page 70: Under Veronika's listed specialties.

"SPECIALTIES: Electrician, Scientists"

Should be: Scientist

Typo, Page 71: Masha's description.

"Masha and Veronika were friends at school and later loves. It was Masha who vouched for Veronika when The Sanctuary found her. Masha was a founding member in Poland and, while she still has deep feelings for Veronika, she riles at her former lover being put in charge of her despite seniority"

Should be: Lovers instead of Loves. Riles is incorrect - she might "be riled by" as to rile means to irritate or annoy, while to be riled is to be irritated or annoyed by. Despite seniority should probably have a "her" in there, as "despite seniority" by itself is awkward.
  • 1
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests