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Raudell
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Joined: Thu 17 Nov 2016, 02:55

Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 04:25

Page 174

Under heading TURN 1 - attack phase, the third sentence reads "He is triumphant - three sixes - and spends two on them on a critical hit" (emphasis added). This should read "...spends two of them..." instead of "two on them". 
 
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Vainamoinen
Posts: 91
Joined: Sat 09 Jul 2016, 14:34

Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 10:49

...the character creation table on page 21 begins with point number 6 instead of 1..:cry:

It's a mess, my corrections from the sample chapters haven't been integrated and the laudable effort that duncgibbs is attempting right now is basically just repeating most of the things I found months ago. This PDF is in no perceivable way ready to be printed.

I would have loved to read this from beginning to end, but for the time being, I'd say I start with one of the later chapters so that duncgibbs can just continue with the page-for-page proofreading. If anyone capable could volunteer for a precise chapter and announce it here instead of just chipping in whatever accidentally struck the eye, that would be very helpful!  ;)

Edit:
I will start to proofread the Atlas (page 300) and continue until the end of the PDF.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 13:50

I will do Chapter 9 entirely from page 187 to 220. Since I started with these anyway.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 14:02

Page 222:
"The peoples of the Third Horizon are often divided into Firstcome and Zenithian" 
I'm not saying this is a mistake, but it could be. Are we talking about "people" (as persons) or of "peoples" (as nations)?

"The Firstcome are a diverse group of peoples that migrated to the Third Horizon in great colonization vessels in many waves, countless years ago."
Same problem. I strongly doubt that the author meant this as "group of nations" but rather "group of persons", which is the more common expression.

"For a long time, the Firstcome lived only in the core systems, but when time turned colonist into native, new waves of pioneers colonized the systems farther out."
Again, not really a mistake but I believe English native speakers would prefer "colonists into natives".

"Today, the Firstcome are growing again, as a reaction to the arrival of the Zenithians and their trade."
Unnecessary comma after "Today".

"Just like other Firstcome peoples, the nomads are clan oriented with large families, passing down a profession through the generations."
Same issue as above with "people". Also I believe "the" is unnecessary as we are talking of generations in general.

Page 223:
Nothing. :)
Last edited by Alphast on Thu 17 Nov 2016, 18:17, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 14:21

Page 224:
"It is however obvious that a lot more people call themselves Zenithians than the Zenith brought with it."
General tradition in English is that ships and planes are feminine. I'd argue spaceships should as well... So "her". ;) But ok, it's just a tradition.

"Individual vessels can leave the swarm for shorter periods of time, but it is rare for a ship to change swarm."
I don't see the point of using a comparative here. There is nothing to compare with. Should be "short".

"Although the Foundation’s biocode census indicates that as much as 10% of the Horizon’s population carry humanite biocode, only a few humanites are publically known."
It should be "publicly".

"The Nerids in the oceans of Sadaal can breath under water and are used by the Iconocracy as workers in the heavy industry located in the planet’s oceans and marshes."
Typo or grammar here. Should be: "breathe".
Last edited by Alphast on Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:06, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 18:29

Page 225:
"The expatriates are a cult that claims direct descendance from the mighty families the Zenithians left behind on al-Ardha and they were later among the colonists who became the Firstcome."
This is incorrect ("they" can only refer to "expatriates", not "families"). To maintain the original meaning, it should be: "The expatriates are a cult that claims direct descendance from the mighty families the Zenithians left behind on al-Ardha but who later joined the colonists who became the Firstcome."
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:00

Page 226:
"The nomads work just as hard as the colonists and stationaries, but enjoy the freedom of waking up to new valleys, oases, moons, or systems, depending on how the group travel."
Unlike other uses of the word group in the same page, here it is the entire group which travels in a ship or swarm and not its individual members, so the proper conjugation should be: "the group travels".

"The day is not structured around the watches like that of other peoples, although the care for the life support, the hydroponics, and the reactors is very strict."
I believe it should be again "people" (in the sense of persons) and that the comma after "hydroponics" should be removed (the conjunction "and" being sufficient).

"News and information are acquired at stops along the wayand “what you don’t know, you don’t know” as the smiling efrite would say."
Here as well, I believe the comma should be placed before "as" instead of "and".
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:14

Page 227:
"Travel, once reserved for a select few, is now in bloom across all the systems."
I believe you should prefer "blooming", to make the sentence lighter.
 
menzagidat
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:15

Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:31

Okay, here is what i found so far:
 Page 57, A Dark Mind text: It refers to chapter 15 which is the Campaign chapter, I guess it should refer to Chapter 14. Chapter 15 refers to Chapter 14 on this matter.
Also sometimes you refer to a page while other times you refer to a chapter, this looks a little inconsistent.

Page 201, Asturban side text: In the last sentence the word agents is misspelled.

Page 335, Djinn description: Second to last sentence has unneccesarry spaces in the middle of the word "wind".

Page 337. Hyper Sickness: Typo in the last sentence, reads "...a result och 1-2..." instead of "...of..."

Appendix, Light Freighter, Scarab(p. 373): Facts box lists crew as 25 instead of only 5.

Appendix, multiple ship floor plans: some "VÅNING"s instead of "Level"

that so far, my hunt continues.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errors in the Coriolis Beta PDF

Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:33

Pages 228-229:
"O n Coriolis and in cities with a strong Consortium pres-
ence, you will find the Bulletin’s terminals, connected through the encrypted infonet."
This sentence is between both pages. First is the wrong space at the beginning. It should be of course "On". Then the word is cut in the wrong place. It should be: "pre-
sence".

"This worrie s some orthodox believers and several info terminals on Algol, among other places, have been vandalized."
Should be "worries".

"Dignitaries and the very rich can also afford the powerful planetary or system communicators, with the latter working even in sys-"
There are missing word parts here, at the end of the page.
Last edited by Alphast on Thu 17 Nov 2016, 19:53, edited 1 time in total.
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