aunderwo
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Sun 02 Oct 2016, 11:38

OK. Cool. Just wanted to check there wasn't a section missing. It wasn't clear from the character creation walkthrough when choosing talents what pages to look at.
 
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Tomas
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Sun 02 Oct 2016, 12:05

In the Characters chapter page 17 it states "Sabah, being Stationary, gives Jessica 10 points to spend on skills. She gives Sabah Technology 3, Survival 2, Manipulation 2, Dexterity 1, Ranged Combat 1, and Observation 1. Jessica picks the Nine Lifes talent for Sabah." I can not see a concept that has Technology , Survival , and  Manipulation as concept skills. How is Sabah able to raise each of these above 1?


Thanks.
Thanks for pointing this out - the rules were changed after the example was written. We will fix this. :)
Fria Ligan
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Thu 06 Oct 2016, 23:46

Chaper 4 Talents:
Page 8: "Such a talent must be chosen both as a talent and as piece of gear." Should probably be "Such a talent must be chosen both as a talent and as a piece of gear."
"In order to gain new cybernetics or bionic implants, you need to spend both XP and birr." Should probably be: "In order to gain new cybernetic or bionic implants, you need to spend both XP and birr."
Last edited by Alphast on Fri 07 Oct 2016, 10:34, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Alphast
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Fri 07 Oct 2016, 09:37

Continued proof reading:
page 12: "Your wish must reasonable, you cannot, for example, force an NPC to act completely against her own interests." Should be : "Your wish must be reasonable. You cannot, for example, force an NPC to act completely against her own interests."
"You know where to strike to make the enemy fall and not get back up again." While not really wrong, it is confusing wording ("back up" is also a word which could be used in this context and it is a repetition with "again"). Should be, I think: "You know where to strike to make the enemy fall and not get up again."
page 16: "Does not work for quick shots (page xx).." Should be: "Does not work for quick shots (page xx)."
"Artificial gills allow you extract oxygen from water." Should be: "Artificial gills allow you to extract oxygen from water."
"The modifier also applies to dance and other physical activity." Not incorrect but not very logical. Probably should be: "The modifier also applies to dance and other physical activities."
page 17: "Your muscles are bionically altered for incredible explosive speed, making you a fast runner." Probably should be: "Your muscles are bionically altered for incredibly explosive speed, making you a fast runner." (although adjectives can be used as adverbs, it sounds weird to the ear).
"You can use tools, make repairs, operate computers or do other tasks that require fine motor skills with extraordinary skill." Correct but inelegant (repetition). Suggestion (but I'm sure there is something better): "You can use tools, make repairs, operate computers or do other tasks that require fine motor skills with extraordinary ease."
page 18: "Opinions, morals and worldview can make something true to someone and false to someone else." Should be (for consistency's sake): "Opinions, morals and worldviews can make something true to someone and false to someone else." (NOTE: I have checked around for the plural of worldview, which is a direct translation of the German "Weltanschauung", and it seems commonly be formed by adding an s).
"If you focus your thoughts on a person you have previo-
usly met, you can tap into that person’s sensory input." The word cut (if any) should of course be:
"If you focus your thoughts on a person you have pre-
viously met, you can tap into that person’s sensory input." Or even:
If you focus your thoughts on a person you have previous-
ly met, you can tap into that person’s sensory input.
"You ask questions of the GM about yourself or someone else taking part in the séance." While grammatically correct, I believe native English speakers would prefer the form: "You ask the GM questions about yourself or someone else taking part in the séance." It is also a shorter form, which is always nicer.

Not a language issue, but for Premonition to work as intended, it would be much better if the GM secretly rolled for the PC and gave him the information only if he/she passed the test. As it is, it makes the test irrelevant since the player will know of the impending danger regardless of the success of the test. This is valid for all similar test, btw.
Last edited by Alphast on Fri 07 Oct 2016, 10:33, edited 1 time in total.
 
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The1TrueFredrix
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Fri 07 Oct 2016, 09:57

Page 11: "You can get out of a dangerous situation somehow connected to nature, such as a brushfire or explosive decompression." Should be : "You can get out of a dangerous situation somehow connected to nature, such as a bush fire or explosive decompression."
Your other edits are all very good, but I just want to point out that a brushfire is a thing, not a typo.
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Fri 07 Oct 2016, 10:34

My mistake. I'll remove this one. [done]
 
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Tomas
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Sat 08 Oct 2016, 12:17

Thanks for spotting those typos! :)
Fria Ligan
 
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Sun 09 Oct 2016, 09:07

You're welcome. :)
 
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Kaeam
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Mon 10 Oct 2016, 18:33

Chapter 7 Spaceships and star travel:
  • Page 8 (THE BULLETIN’S ASTROSTRADIUM): "For a small fee, any ship can update its astronical database at a portal station." Astronical should be astronomical?
  • Page 12 (CREATE YOUR OWN SPACESHIP): The first step in the list is empty. Seems like there should only be 7 steps.
  • Page 13 (TABLE 7.5 SHIP CLASSES): There is an untranslated (Tung fraktare, Bärgare, Färja) row in the table. Seems to be duplicate of the class IV row.
  • Page 12 (SHIPYARDS IN THE HORIZON): "CHELEBS – Mira: Beautiful, lean and fast ships...". The name of the shipyard is written differently in the example on the right side of the page 13: "The ship Narzalus is built in the Cheleb shipyards on Mira...".
  • Page 15 (TABLE 7.7 MODULES): The table contains untranslated duplicates of Weapon System and Workshop.
  • Page 17 (CARGO MODULE): Cargo module is called Cargo Hold in the modules table (table 7.7 on page 15).
  • Page 18 (PROSPECTION MODULE): Prospection module is called Mining Station in the modules table (table 7.7 on page 15).
  • Page 18 (SERVICE MODULE): Service module is called Service Station in the modules table (table 7.7 on page 15).
  • Page 18 (STASIS MODULE): Stasis module is called Stasis Hold in the modules table (table 7.7 on page 15). The headers KLASS and STASBÄDDAR are also untranslated.
  • Page 19 (TABLE 7.8 WEAPON AND PULSE SYSTEMS): The table is missing an entry for Mine, which is listed in the weapon systems table (page 20, TABLE 7.9 WEAPON SYSTEMS).
  • Page 20 (TABLE 7.9 WEAPON SYSTEMS): Countermeasure Dispenser is divided into two rows (Countermeasure and Dispenser) with different bonuses and costs (although the first row could be the countermeasure buoy and the second row the device that dispenses them). The Countermeasure row has untranslated range (Kort).
  • Page 22 (BONUS MODULES): The table is untranslated.
  • Page 23 (LIBRARY DATABASE): "...for example astronics, humanities...". Astronics should be astronomics?
  • Page 24: The example on the left uses the "wrong" module names (service module, stasis module, cargo module). (See above)
  • Page 24 (SALVAGE UNIT): The description uses the "wrong module name (prospection module).
  • Page 24 (SHIP INTELLIGENCE): "...with a 1 in the attribute and a 3 in the skill relevant for that function...". Features table (page 21, TABLE 7.10 FEATURES) says "Versatile AI, attribute scores 3, skill level 2."
  • Page 24 (SHIP SYSTEM): "The system has a 3 in both the attribute and the skill relevant to the position." Features table (page 21, TABLE 7.10 FEATURES) says "Replaces crew member, attribute 2, skill level 3."
  • Page 24 (SUPER SENSORS): "Increases the sensor range to 8 combat distances.". Features table (page 21, TABLE 7.10 FEATURES) says "Increases range of ship sensors to Extreme." 8 combat distances/units IS extreme range.
  • Page 25 (SERVICE AND MAINTENANCE): "Your adventures will sooner or later start to wear or your spaceship...". The or should be either removed or replaced with down or other suitable preposition.
  • Pages 26 - 31: The example ships use the "wrong" module names. (See above) A couple of the ships have pulse system listed under their modules. Should probably be data pulse?
  • Page 26 (LIGHT FREIGHTER, SCARAB): The standard model has light accelerator cannon listed under its modules. There is no light version of accelerator cannon listed in the weapon systems table (page 20, TABLE 7.9 WEAPON SYSTEMS)
  • Page 27 (GUNSHIP, AZUK): All models have Problem: Clear signature, which isn't listed under possible problems (page 13, THE SHIP'S PROBLEM), so it probably should be obvious signature.
  • Page 28 (COURIER SHIP, ORYX): The standard model has Problem: Unreliable sensors, which isn't listed under possible problems (page 13, THE SHIP'S PROBLEM), so it probably should be blunt sensors. However, unreliable sensors sounds MUCH better than blunt sensors.
  • Page 29 (SALVAGE SHIP, KAMRUK): The mining model has light accelerator cannon listed under its modules. There is no light version of accelerator cannon listed in the weapon systems table (page 20, TABLE 7.9 WEAPON SYSTEMS).
While not a typo, it would be more consistent if the game only used meters or yards, not both. Examples:
Chapter 4 Talents:
  • Sprinter and Cybernetic Muscles use yards.
  • Quick and Wings use meters.
Chapter 5 Combat:
  • Falling uses meters.
  • Range and Movement use yards.
Last edited by Kaeam on Tue 11 Oct 2016, 01:51, edited 7 times in total.
 
Camillus
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Re: Typos/Errata in English Sample Chapters

Tue 11 Oct 2016, 00:39

Chapter 7: Spaceships and Star Travel

Page 10, Table 7.2, Failed Portal Jumps: In entries 54-61 and 62-66 the word "spit" is used when the word "spat" is more correct. This is, however, arguable and may depend on the style guide being used.

Page 11, under Ship Stats "MANEUVERABILITY indicate how agile and easy to maneuver the ship is." Should read "MANEUVERABILITY indicates how agile and easy to maneuver the ship is."
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