User avatar
Mattias_JH
Topic Author
Posts: 22
Joined: Sun 17 Feb 2019, 10:29

Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 31 Aug 2021, 11:43

Hello!
Please use this thread to report any typos or errors in Section 1 - The Setting in the Alpha PDF of the Ruins of Symbaroum Player's Guide. Guidelines to remember:
  • Before reporting an error, please check and see if it already has been reported, and if so, don't report it again.
  • If you want to discuss or feedback something that is not a clear error, don't do it here - instead, please start a new forum post the specific issue.
  • Please report your feedback no later than September 25, 2021. After this date, we are likely not able to make any further changes.
Thank you!
 
Morpheus
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:50

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 31 Aug 2021, 14:51

Is the Setting Section a direct copy of the original Symbaroum? It seems like it and would make sense.
 
n4tune8
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu 22 Apr 2021, 22:11
Location: Montreal, Canada

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 31 Aug 2021, 16:57

OK, let's start with an easy one. In the Introduction, 4th line, "Forest" should not be capitalized. It is not in the third paragraph.
Introduction, 6th paragraph, wargear should be two words: war gear.
 
Ser Jastin
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue 31 Aug 2021, 22:07

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 31 Aug 2021, 22:36

Looking forward to giving this a more complete look later, but at the outset a couple general things jumped out at me. Fair warning - I tend to be rather nitpicky when it comes to proofreading/looking for typos (which serves me well in my day job but I'm afraid might come across as overbearing for something like this, which is certainly not my intent.) Anyway:

1) To (badly) paraphrase Shakespeare - To Oxford comma or not to Oxford comma, that is the question. Based on a quick reading of the first few pages, it seems to sometimes be used, sometimes not. Obviously a very minor issue, but if possible I think consistency would be best (and my vote would be to always use it.)

2) Building on n4tun8's point below, there seems to be some inconsistencies in capitalization of place names (e.g. "forest of Davokar" versus "Forest of Davokar"; "kingdom of Ambria" versus "Kingdom of Ambria." In some cases the discrepancies may be due to the fact that the nouns "forest" or "kingdom" are being used in their generic sense, rather than as proper place names, but in other cases it looks like sometimes the proper place name is capitalized, sometimes not. Similarly, in a few cases, e.g. on PDF p. 5, "Class" and "Origin" are not always consistently capitalized, e.g. "Mystic class's" should probably be "Mystic Class's".

Now for a couple specific items (I'm hoping to have some time to read through more over the next couple days and weeks):

1. PDF p. 5, last paragraph: remove the apostrophe from "GM's" as in this case it is plural, not possessive.
2. PDF p. 8, 4th paragraph: change "reside" to "resides" as verb is referring back to singular High Chieftain
 
sandor7
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue 06 Jul 2021, 04:58

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 31 Aug 2021, 22:41

Is the Setting Section a direct copy of the original Symbaroum? It seems like it and would make sense.
original Symbaroum seems the same, up until RoS page 24. the original goes into greater detail for Thistle Hold (which gets 14 pages), Yndaros (which gets 10 pages), and Karvosti (which gets 7 pages), while all 3 are condensed into 6 pages for RoS. This actually seems to make sense, as a lot of these more detailed pages don't need to be player-facing
 
Spat
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat 04 Jan 2020, 13:32

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Wed 01 Sep 2021, 09:05

page 21 : the text in the image is not in English.
 
Ser Jastin
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue 31 Aug 2021, 22:07

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Sun 19 Sep 2021, 14:35

A few more suggested changes (apologies as due to work I haven't been able to review very much). I've tried to add labels so it's clear where things are primarily suggestions.

Introduction

[Style suggestion] PDF p. 5, lines 37-40: the use of the exact phrase "negotiations and tense situations" twice reads a bit repetitively. Perhaps replace the second instance of the phrase with something along the lines of "these kinds of scenarios"

Section I - The Setting

[Punctuation suggestion] PDF p. 8, line 57: remove the comma between "warring, barbarian" - if "barbarian clans" is considered like a single noun, rather than "barbarian" being an adjective to differentiate barbarian clans from non-barbarian clans

[Word choice suggestion] PDF p. 8, line 93: replace "score" with "tally" ("score" suggests a contest and/or has slightly positive connotations, whereas "tally" is more neutral and suggests simply keeping track, which seems the intent of the language here)

[Word choice suggestion] PDF p. 9, line 12: replace "welcome" with "tolerate"

[Style suggestion] PDF p. 9, line 42: change "not the least" to either "not in the least" or "not the least bit"

[Style suggestion] PDF p. 10, line 28: add "the" before "military" (to clarify that reference is to the military as an institution, or alternatively change "in terms of military and bureaucracy" to "in military and bureaucratic matters" and change "regarding" to "with regard to"

[Typo (singular/plural)] PDF p. 10, line 48: change "a millennia" to "a millennium"
 
User avatar
jonathanpay
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon 01 Apr 2019, 10:18
Contact:

Re: Alpha Feedback - Player's Guide Section 1 The Setting

Tue 21 Sep 2021, 10:38

page 21 : the text in the image is not in English.
Yeah it looks like they've got some lorem ipsum in places like that because they they're focusing on the bulk of the content rather than the trimmings.
Christian. Husband. Father. Antipodean. Egalitarian. Cinephile. Boardgame and ttrpg enthusiast. Jack-of-all-trades. World's first second-generation email geek.

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest