Tue 31 Aug 2021, 22:36
Looking forward to giving this a more complete look later, but at the outset a couple general things jumped out at me. Fair warning - I tend to be rather nitpicky when it comes to proofreading/looking for typos (which serves me well in my day job but I'm afraid might come across as overbearing for something like this, which is certainly not my intent.) Anyway:
1) To (badly) paraphrase Shakespeare - To Oxford comma or not to Oxford comma, that is the question. Based on a quick reading of the first few pages, it seems to sometimes be used, sometimes not. Obviously a very minor issue, but if possible I think consistency would be best (and my vote would be to always use it.)
2) Building on n4tun8's point below, there seems to be some inconsistencies in capitalization of place names (e.g. "forest of Davokar" versus "Forest of Davokar"; "kingdom of Ambria" versus "Kingdom of Ambria." In some cases the discrepancies may be due to the fact that the nouns "forest" or "kingdom" are being used in their generic sense, rather than as proper place names, but in other cases it looks like sometimes the proper place name is capitalized, sometimes not. Similarly, in a few cases, e.g. on PDF p. 5, "Class" and "Origin" are not always consistently capitalized, e.g. "Mystic class's" should probably be "Mystic Class's".
Now for a couple specific items (I'm hoping to have some time to read through more over the next couple days and weeks):
1. PDF p. 5, last paragraph: remove the apostrophe from "GM's" as in this case it is plural, not possessive.
2. PDF p. 8, 4th paragraph: change "reside" to "resides" as verb is referring back to singular High Chieftain