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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Tue 19 Oct 2021, 00:28

P. 221 "Wave of Corruption (Recharge 5–6). This creature causes each other creature within 60 feet of it to make a DC [Constitution modifier + proficiency bonus] Wisdom saving throw or gain 2 (1d4) temporary Corruption. This feature can only be used by thoroughly corrupt creatures." Perhaps the save DC should be [8 + Constitution modifier + proficiency bonus].
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Tue 19 Oct 2021, 22:07

p.31, Death Prince stat block : darkvision unit is « ft. », while it is « feet » for previous monsters before. The same way to designate the unit could be used for all monsters.
p.35 36 37, Lindworm, Drakworm, Dragon stat block : darkvision misses its unit « feet or ft.»
And the corruption threshold is missing to.
P.36, Flick of its Tail : the description doesn’t say what is the trigger of the Reaction. And Enthrall, same remark as for Lindworm : once or every round until success ?
p.37, Dragon stat block : Hit Points 14d20+84 = 231, not 245 with a mean value of 10,5.
Claws 3d12+9=28 with a mean value of 6,5
p.41 Etter Sleep : « it takes a successful DC 15 check against the Wisdom (alchemist’s supplies) of the alchemist … ». I think it is usually phrased the other way round « it takes a successful Wisdom (alchemist’s supplies) of the alchemist … check against a DC 15 ».
And the different § of this part seem to use 2 different polices.
p.44, Glimmer stat block, Mirrors : do the duplicate have an AC (like Mirror Image spell), or the hit is automatic ?
Glimmer amulet : how it works seems clumsy. I understood the creatures attacking the wearer have disadvantage on attacks due to light rays, but if they end up with nat 1 the stone explodes (so roughly 1 to 10 probability).
Maybe you could limit the effect to « attackers relying on sight »
And the fact that a complete miss could explode the stone is counter intuitive ? Maybe have the wearer roll d20 if hit by a blow. On a Nat 1 the blow crushed the stone…
p.48, Glint Carrier Template, Infection : « A character with the Medicus feature can attempt surgery (DC 20 Dexterity check), taking 2d12 piercing damage on a success or a level of exhaustion and disadvantage on future saving throws due to the infestation. » This is unclear. Do you mean « attempting a surgery on themselves » ? If another character tries to help by attempting surgery on the victim, maybe he « inflicts » 2d12 piercing damage, but not « taking ». And 2d12 seems quite a lot by using carefully a dagger…
Are the success / failure consequences meant for the patient or the surgeon ? Success = 2d12 damage, failure = exhaustion + disadvantage on all saves for the patient ? It is not logical that the damage are not inflicted if the Dex Check is failed also. So I think this part needs a clearer wording.
p.49, Glint carrier Aboar stat bloc : Saving Throw Con should be +8
p.49, Glint carrier Guard stat bloc : Athletics should be +4
p.53, Gwann Slaughterer stat block : Claws attack should be at +6.
Sinkhole : does the feature require that the Gwann has sufficient movement left to be 20 feet below a character, or it gives extra movement to the creature ? If the later is correct, maybe the feature should have a range…
p.56, Illgoblin stat block : corruption threshold should be 8.
The Feature Gravely Cold has an extreme long range for small damage (same for Death Prince p.32), Impossible to be stealthy with such a cold preceding you. Maybe the range could be small. And it seems difficult to play the Adventure Set-up proposed with a creature that inflicts automatic damage.
Also the adventures Set-up speaks about a couple ill goblin / Necromage who are using Teleportation Circle. But this spell is not in the Sorcerer's List, nor in the Necromage's...
p.60, king Toad Older bloc stat : Corruption Threshold should be +8.
p.60 61 both King Toad bloc stat : The movement is only 30ft while the Long Jump can go up to 40ft. According to 5E rules, either the movement must be 40ft at least, or the jump max 30ft. PHB p.182 « each foot you clear on the jump costs a foot of movement ».
The text describing a Huge Younger King Toad as « last year’s offspring » is a bit contradictory with the fact that King Toads are rare. If a 1 year old puppy is already Huge, and numerous if they breed 3 per year, then this should be the dominant specie of the forest. Maybe just talk about last egg-laying, it could be ages ago… or maybe reduce the size of the beast to Large…?
p.62, Adventure Set-up : « like the witch in the previous narrative. » I think it refers to the text on the following page. Maybe it should be « following narrative ».
p.65, Living Thorns stat block, familiar and wild : « While a living thorns plant remain motionless ».
I would use « remains ». For Multiattack, I would use « makes »
p.69, Managaal stat blocks (both) : the creature is described as Phenomenon, while the text speaks of a daemon.
p.73, Marlit stat block, Uncanny Dodge : does this feature work for Area of effect spells ? In 5E it works only against attacks (ie. with an attack roll).
p.77, Nefarani stat block, mystical connection : maybe it needs a « conscious » nefarani in the 5ft. range to function.
p.81, Nightmare : There is no feature in the stat block that could explain it is only active during nights (like Sunlight Sensitivity).
p.84, Scatter : does the feature works after a swarm attack, or an opponent attack ? Maybe it should be specified.
p.88, Ravenous Willow stat block : Con save should be +8, Str +13
Mirage : maybe the specs of the feature could say what type of illusion (minor illusion, silent image, major image etc…) in particular to define the size of it, and its possible movements.
p.96, skullbiter stat block, retaliatory charge : for Hatchling the term « reach » is used, while it is « range » for crusher and queen. Reach is defined, but Range is not. Also, there could be a size condition on the victim of the charge. Difficult to imagine a small hatchling crushing a large animal for example. It could be limited to opponents of the same size or smaller.
Damage resistance : the description says the staff mage are having a hard time against them, but they don’t resist bludgeoning weapons, only the other types. Is it intended ?
p.97, queen stat block : corruption threshold should be 11.
Last edited by Spat on Mon 25 Oct 2021, 17:59, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Tue 19 Oct 2021, 22:28

On the World Serpent Tunneler and Wallower... what happens to swallowed creatures? Do the take damage outter turn? Do they suffocate after X rounds? Im assuming there is no chance to escape (which is fine) but there should be some mechanic concerning how long a victim can last when swallowed (damage/suffocation). You can use the default rules for holding your breath, but a reference to that world be nice (especially if there is no damage per turn).
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Tue 19 Oct 2021, 23:14

Page 207: Arch Troll: "Enthrall. When a creature first tries to act against the troll they
must make a DC 16 Wisdom"
- add full stop at the end of the sentence.
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Tue 19 Oct 2021, 23:45

General question... does the higher lever (CR 14 and higher) creatures damage appear to be a bit low? Our does it seem in line with existing monsters from 5e?
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Wed 20 Oct 2021, 02:22

Introduction: "The book is divided into four sections, entitled Hordes of the Eternal Night, Beasts & Monsters, Adversaries, and Adaption and Expansion" - It is written as "Adaption & Expansion" in the table of contents.

Introduction: "The creatures are arranged by type: abominations, amphibians and aquatics" - Written as "amphibians & aquatics" in table of contents.

Introduction: "...spew cascades of fire, acid or purest corruption, or that are so enormous they can swallow a player character whole, with weapons drawn. - Here, and in many other places of the Bestiary Corruption is written with a lowercase c; in the other books it is always written with capital C. Please search the whole document and make sure the spelling is consistent.

Introduction: "If the Gamemaster wants to change traits, feature, and other details..." - Feature or features?

Page 10: - Arach Exalted, Arach exalted, arach exalted all used. It looks like you are mixing capital and lowercase, some of them should probably be changed.

Page 12: "The individuals encountered in bright Davokar and in Ambrian border settlements and outposts seem to act..." - Shouldn't it be "Bright Davokar"?

Page 16: "The act of creation starts with a witch who is balancing on the edge of becoming blight born..." - Blight-born instead of blight born?

Page 18: " combat is possible, but a passed DC 15 Intelligence (Religion) check opens up the option to feed, and hence clam, the creature." - Calm instead of clam?

Page 20: "...with Shadow-sight it is also possible to perceive the corruption in the air, ground and waters." - Corruption? see previous comment concerning capital C.

Page 22: - Sometimes spelled World Wounds, sometimes world wounds.

Page 22: "Chances are that both hunters and prey get stuck in the area; maybe the situation forces them to negotiate a temporary treaty so they can face the dangers of corruption together?" - Consider changing "treaty" to "truce".

Page 23: Corrupt Land Effects Table: - Full stop is missing for 11-20.

Page 23; Intruder Daemon: "Speed 30 ft, fly 60 ft" - Full stop missing after "ft."

Page 24: "hedla, your mother and spouse" - Capital H for Hedla?
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Wed 20 Oct 2021, 02:56

Page 31: "Speed 30 ft" - Full stop missing from "ft."

Page 33: "as befitting as the warningsspoken by the blight-crazed treasure hunter." - Space needed between warnings and spoken.

Page 35: "Speed 30 ft, swim 60 ft" - Full stops missing for "ft". Please check all creature tables for this.

Page 35: "Skills Arcana +8. History +13, Perception +5, Stealth +11" - Replace fullstop after +8 with comma.
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Wed 20 Oct 2021, 06:47

I must say... this book is beautiful. The artwork, just like the original book is spellbinding, immersive and darkly engaging.

Aside from little thing here and there people are finding, this book looks magnificent!

Appreciate the effort creative team. Hats off all around
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Thu 21 Oct 2021, 01:15

Page 46-48: - You write "glint-carrier" everywhere except when you mention the template, then you spell it "Glint Carrier Template". Perhaps you should spell it the same way? I don't know.

Page 49: Clint-carrier, Aboar: - Once again "ft" is missing a full stop. You probably need to double check every text box so you are consistent with how you write it.

Page 51: - You spell most creatures with a capital letter, however with "gwann" you don't. Is there a reason for this?

- Many creatures like the gwann and the Glimmer are lacking detailed descriptions of their appearance, is this intentional?

- It might be too late, but while checking the reference to the page number for pact making in the Gamemaster's Guide I realised that that page (151) has a lot of empty space at the top of the page, it doesn't look quite right.

- Sometimes you write creature type in a text box with lowecase initial letter (e.g. Small humanoid (illgoblin)), sometimes with an initial capital letter (e.g. Huge humanoid (Troll)). Is this intentional? If not, double check all text boxes.

Page 57: PACT -MAKING POWERS template - Some sentences have full stop, others do not. Make sure it is consistent.
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Re: Alpha Feedback - Bestiary

Fri 22 Oct 2021, 00:02

Page 60: King Toad (Older) text box: - You are inconsistent with the use of full stop and colon. For example, you write "Grappling Tongue.", "Swallow:", "Retract Tongue.", and "Bite:". You seem to use full stop in most text boxes. Please check all text boxes in the Bestiary so you are consistent with your punctuation.

Page 61: King Toad (Younger) text box: - Same problem as for King Toad (Older) text box.

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