I'll go probably chapter by chapter with a new comment for each.
- "Attribute Scores" table. I found listing both die size and die type to be confusing and unhelpful... is there a reason? It's also not standardized with the Skill table just below it.
- "Hit and Stress Capacity" -- could be read ambiguously. I recommend rewriting it as "Your hit capacity equals half the die size of your STR attribute plus half the die size of your AGL attribute, rounded up." Likewise for stress.
- "How You Met" -- kinda gets the short stick here. True, no mechanical effect but this and other roleplaying elements could probably be emphasized a bit in terms of their importance with your budy, and so on?
- "Group gear" -- "You can only choose an item from the same row once" ... there are no rows.
- In general, don't love the pure randomness here. A few strokes of bad luck and you could easily end up with 1 ration of food, 1 magazine for a rifle, etc making up a big chunk of your group gear!
- I don't think it has been explained anywhere to this point what a D66 is (I know what it is, but coming from different systems I might assume it's a typo!)
- Vehicle -- I wish this was also a table with some sort of meaningful choice, like what the non-existent "rows" above suggests. Maybe I'd rather have one horse per PC than a beat-up old truck, or a well-kept APC as compared to a damaged MBT?
- Encumbrance -- Not that I think this is a huge concern, but just pointing out that even a weakling could carry 24 magazines in their combat gear! (and nothing else, including a weapon... but hopefully you see my point. Someone with elite strength can carry 48 mags! I'm sure many munchkin type players will notice this too!
- it's generally a little hard to read the difference between 1/4 and 1/2 at a quick glance at this text size/font.
- I mentioned elsewhere, but I think presenting the appearance options as "the options below" comes across pretty silly when they are rarely presented as options. Maybe just give one or two "example appearances" instead?
- Specialties -- these are all "Recommended options," I assume this means the player is free to choose ANY specialty they want (as long as the GM lets them get away with it?)
- I think I could live without "typical nicknames," as it just seems to clutter up a pretty important info box.
- The info box itself is strange; it's used here to contain the most critical information, but elsewhere in the rules generally is used more like "tooltips" or additional guidance. I'd expect to see the stuff like Key attributes, skills, and CUF as a section in the main text!
- I posted a whole thread elsewhere about how I found some of the example moral codes pretty confusing or unhelpful.
- In general I like the idea behind the lifepath system (and liked it in most GDW games), but I think this one needs a little fleshing out in order to provide more options/variety (one thing that seems to be missing is any ability to choose "flex skills" -- something not explicitly listed in whatever career you're in. Most of those old systems had that, and it gave a suitable amount of freedom to character building). Or just a broader skill list for all/most careers!
- It is all but impossible to create young characters using this system. If you want to play "The Kid" of any kind, you have to choose the archetype!
- NCOs can't learn Command or Persuasion, which is super strange. Maybe the skill or specialization list should be based as much on rank as it is on specialization? The Army is not sending many of its Captains to become better electricians or martial artists.
- likewise, Linguist probably ought to be an option for Officers but especially SOF.
- Recon seems like a really weird choice for the Education branch, especially the way the skill is written up in chapter 3.
- The example on p. 39 mentions "trying out" for SOF and "passing" -- but those aren't in the rules!
- In general, there seems to be just a tad much unmitigated randomness in the lifepath system. By default I would prefer to use it, since it offers a lot more potential depth and uniqueness to characters -- but as currently exists it seems players may not get much control over who those characters become. Maybe at least allowing a handful of re-rolls throughout the process, if people don't like specialties they get or have enough bad luck to suffer multiple aging effects? Or had in mind an older character, but war breaks out right away? Seems like there needs to be some in-between that allows people with a very clear idea of the character they want to make a good shot at that but with more detail than the archetypes really provide.
All right, I'll pick this up again later.