Lalipat
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Joined: Sun 31 Dec 2017, 12:43

Translation help: Koracia

Wed 28 Oct 2020, 11:24

For about two years now, I have been trying to create an adventure site for the hidden village Koracia (see p. 49 in GMG). I am writing in Swedish, but probably would like to translate it to English as well. There is a problem though.

Koracia is hidden and its location is only known by Raven's council, a number of selected raven sisters that guards the Raven shrine and aids the ailanders of Ravenland. There is, however, a hymn, Raven's promise, that is secretly sung among the ailanders and containing clues about the village's location. One main clue is the first sentence "Watch out for Raven". The problem is that in Swedish "watch out" is the same thing as "look up" ("se upp"). Koracia is hidden in the treetops of gigantic pine trees.

Could anyone come up with something in English that could have the meaning of both looking up and watching out?
 
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Konungr
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Joined: Mon 10 Jun 2019, 09:39

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Wed 28 Oct 2020, 16:01

We have the phrase "heads up" which is like "pay attention"/"watch out". Like if you are not looking at me and I say "heads up!" before tossing something to you. But that seems more of a modern phrase and might not fit within the setting.
 
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Vader
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Joined: Fri 15 Nov 2019, 14:11
Location: The Frozen North

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Wed 28 Oct 2020, 16:34

If translating it verbatim proves unsatisfactory, you might try rephrasing it.

Perhaps the Raven made it up?
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...[i]and[/i] checked if something more was posted on the subject [b]after[/b] it?

(weird ... broken BBCode...?)
 
Lalipat
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Re: Translation help: Koracia

Wed 28 Oct 2020, 17:01

Yes, maybe something like "Raven above all".
 
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michael
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Joined: Tue 24 Sep 2019, 13:31
Location: Stockholm, Sweden

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Thu 29 Oct 2020, 08:37

Agreed that a word-for-word translation might be difficult and some good suggestions here. 'Raven above all' is both a powerful 'raise-your-fist'-expression full of pride, but with a hidden meaning so I really like that one.

Maybe you can find use of this site: https://relatedwords.org/
"To fall in hell, or soar angelic, you need a pinch of psychedelic."
 
Lalipat
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Posts: 93
Joined: Sun 31 Dec 2017, 12:43

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Thu 29 Oct 2020, 09:23

Agreed that a word-for-word translation might be difficult and some good suggestions here. 'Raven above all' is both a powerful 'raise-your-fist'-expression full of pride, but with a hidden meaning so I really like that one.

Maybe you can find use of this site: https://relatedwords.org/
Thanks for that page! Really helpful! I searched for words related to "up" and found "rising" and "raising", which both can be used with multiple meanings.They are also nice to use as alliterations.
 
Lalipat
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Posts: 93
Joined: Sun 31 Dec 2017, 12:43

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Thu 05 Nov 2020, 15:29

Alright! So how about this?

RAVEN’S PROMISE
Raven rising
Wings beating hard
The faithful of Raven shall live

Hidden in Ravenland
There is still
A place without any rust

Raven’s Council rising
Koracia raised
It’s branches reach everywhere

Where elves of deception
Still dwelve
Lies the path to the animal sanctum

Where Flow flows
In Clay’s body
Lies the road to Raven’s heart

Where Whail’s wrath
Roars the loudest
There is hope for Raven’s people

Raven wings beating
Raven eyes watching
Far over Ravenland’s reaches

Raven’s sisters
Will always be there
To watch over Raven’s land

Raven rising
Wings beating hard
The faithful of Raven shall live
 
AmbrianLeonhardt
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Re: Translation help: Koracia

Fri 06 Nov 2020, 20:03

I saw your post in the Swedish section and I'm dying to have that resource in English, it looks really good even though I don't understand 99% of what's inside. Hope it comes out well! Good luck, I'll wait with trepidation :)
 
Lalipat
Topic Author
Posts: 93
Joined: Sun 31 Dec 2017, 12:43

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Fri 06 Nov 2020, 22:16

I saw your post in the Swedish section and I'm dying to have that resource in English, it looks really good even though I don't understand 99% of what's inside. Hope it comes out well! Good luck, I'll wait with trepidation :)
Thanks! I have begun translating it, but it takes time. I will post a first draft as soon as I have one!
 
Lalipat
Topic Author
Posts: 93
Joined: Sun 31 Dec 2017, 12:43

Re: Translation help: Koracia

Wed 11 Nov 2020, 18:12

I am quite finished with the Swedish version of Koracia, and have now started to translate it to English. I am kind of lazy, so I have google translated the main part, hoping that someone else would like to proofread and also come with suggestions on better formulations.

You find the document here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BA_JeY ... sp=sharing

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