adrianplanet
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu 13 Jun 2019, 14:18

Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Thu 13 Jun 2019, 14:22

Now that I've submitted my feedback on the Cinematic Starter Kit I thought I would post it here for discussion's sake. I realise how pedantic some of these must seem and I hope it’s taken as nothing more than a sign of my enthusiasm for the game. With how the book is laid out it was sometimes difficult to determine what number paragraph or line a correction belonged to—I did my best.

TYPOS FOUND

PAGE 3
Conditions, Starving, Dehydrated, Exhausted, Falling, Freezing, Fire, Disease, Drowning, and Suffocation are all missing from the Other Hazards section of the contents page.

PAGE 6, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘Hughes’ should be ‘Hughes.’

PAGE 6, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 1
‘can’ should be ‘can.’

PAGE 7, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 5
‘kind’ should be ‘kind.’

PAGE 7, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 6
‘parent’ should be ‘parent.’

PAGE 9, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 8
‘airlock’ should be ‘airlock.’

PAGE 10, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
’bullshit’ should be ‘bullshit.’

PAGE 11, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 6
‘sleep’ should be ‘sleep.’

PAGE 11, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 4
Robert Morse’s book is called ’Space Beast’ here (page 11, paragraph 3, line 4, and page 11, paragraph 5, line 1) but is called ‘Star Beast’ on page 13 (paragraph 3, line 3).

PAGE 11, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 1
‘alive’ should be ‘alive.’

PAGE 15, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 9
‘reason’ should be ‘reason.’

PAGE 15, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
‘promotion’ should be ‘promotion.’

PAGE 16, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘does - but’ should be ‘does—but’

PAGE 16, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 7
‘rules in found’ should be ‘rules found’

PAGE 16, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 8
‘ends’ should be ‘ends.’

PAGE 17, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 7
‘out’ should be ‘out.’

PAGE 17, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 3
‘ahead’ should be ‘ahead.’

PAGE 18, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 8
‘fucked’ should be ‘fucked.’

PAGE 18, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 3
‘universe’ should be ‘universe.’

PAGE 19, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 11
‘37763’ should be ‘37763.’

PAGE 20, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 5
‘ideas’ should be ‘ideas.’

PAGE 20, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 8
‘supplement’ should be ‘supplement.’

PAGE 21, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘RECORDING’ should perhaps be ‘RECORDING.’

PAGE 21, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 1
‘Welcome’ should be ‘Welcome.’

PAGE 21, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 6
‘here… . END’ should be ‘here… END’

PAGE 21, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 6
‘TRANSMISSION’ should perhaps be ‘TRANSMISSION.’

PAGE 24, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 4
‘rulebook’ should be ‘rulebook.’

PAGE 25, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 5
‘game..’ should be ‘game.’

PAGE 26, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 5
‘65)’ should be ‘65).’

PAGE 27, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 6
‘have’ should be ‘have.’

PAGE 28, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 2
‘an MK50 Compression’ should be ‘a Mk.50 Compression’

PAGE 28, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘or a M41A’ should be ‘or an M41A’

PAGE 29, PARAGRAPH 12, LINE 7
‘put’ should be ‘put.’

PAGE 32, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 3
‘two’ should be ‘two.’

PAGE 33, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 17
‘safety’ should be ‘safety.’

PAGE 37, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 6
‘guidance:’ should be ‘guidance.’

PAGE 37, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 12
‘Company handler’ should perhaps be ‘company handler’

PAGE 37, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 22
‘Dice’ should be ‘Dice.’

PAGE 38, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 7
‘STAMINA vs STAMINA’ should be ‘STAMINA vs. STAMINA’

PAGE 38, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 8
‘arm-wrestle’ should be ‘arm-wrestle.’

PAGE 38, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 16
‘Captain’ should be ‘Captain.’

PAGE 45, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 4
‘say’ should be ‘say.’

PAGE 48, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 1
‘how’ should be ‘how.’

PAGE 49, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 5
‘them’ should be ‘them.’

PAGE 51, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 1
'movement  is' should be ‘movement is’

PAGE 51, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 10
‘on next’ should be ’on the next’

PAGE 52, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 7
‘it’ should be ‘it.’

PAGE 53, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 3
‘the round—‘ should be ‘the Round—‘

PAGE 53, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 6
‘the round, but’ should be ‘the Round, but’

PAGE 53, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 6
‘a round. You’ should be ‘a Round. You’

PAGE 54, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 6
There should perhaps be a ‘-‘ in the ‘SKILL’ column, corresponding to ‘Block attack’.

PAGE 55, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 7
‘of  Chapter’ should be ‘of Chapter’

PAGE 56, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 6
‘targets’ should be ‘targets.’

PAGE 59, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 1 AND 4
Pushing is described as a fast action on line 1, and a slow action on line 4.

PAGE 59, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 10
‘(above)’ should be ‘(above).’

PAGE 59, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 10
‘Health’ should be ’Health.’

PAGE 62, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 7
‘and work just’ should be ‘and works just’

PAGE 63, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 8
‘damage’ should be ‘damage.’

PAGE 67, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 3
‘injury’ should be ‘injury.’

PAGE 68, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 7
‘161’ should be ‘161.’

PAGE 69, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 2
‘-6’ should be ‘≤ 6’ (or ‘1–6’)

PAGE 72, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1
‘the USCC’ should be ‘the USCSS’

PAGE 72, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 18
‘Dice’ should be ‘Dice.’

PAGE 76, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘Fighting xeno-morph’ should be ‘Fighting xenomorph’ (or ‘Fighting Xenomorph’)

PAGE 83, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 18
‘a civi—good’ should be ‘a civi, good’ (or ‘a civilian, good’)

PAGE 84, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1
‘M42A’ should be ‘Armat M42A’

PAGE 89, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 7
‘Eco All Worlds Survival Suit’ is later referred to as ‘Eco All World Systems Survival Suit’ (page 90, paragraph 5, line 1)

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 3
‘reliable Mark .50 compression’ should be ‘reliable Mk.50 compression’

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 13
‘a Mk 50’ should be ‘a Mk.50’

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 2
‘the Mk. 35 is’ should be ‘the Mk.35 is’

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 10
‘a Mk. 35 or’ should be ‘a Mk.35 or’

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 9
‘standard ECO EVA’ should perhaps be ‘standard Eco EVA’

PAGE 90, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 14
‘+3’ should be ‘+3.’

PAGE 93, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 2
‘varies’ should be ‘Varies’ (and would be more useful if a cost was listed instead)

PAGE 93, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 3
The description for ‘PR-PUT Uplink Terminal’ is titled ‘PR-PUT Portable Remote Pilot Uplink Terminal’ on page 94 (paragraph 2, line 2).

PAGE 92, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 2
‘A.I. Mainframe capable’ should be ‘A.I. mainframe capable’

PAGE 94, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 1
‘tablet, A P-DAT’ should be ‘tablet, a P-DAT’

PAGE 95, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 9
The description for ’”Pups" Mapping Device' is titled ‘W-Y Parameter Uplink Spectrograph Mapping Device’ on page 96 (paragraph 7, line 1).

PAGE 96, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 1
‘to M314’ should be ‘to the M314’

PAGE 96, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 2
‘technology and to’ should be ‘technology to’

PAGE 97, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 4
The description for ’Cutting Torch’ is titled ‘Mechanical Cutting Torch’ on page 97 (paragraph 3, line 1).

PAGE 98, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 7–8
‘from a fatal critical injuries’ should be ‘from a fatal critical injury’ (or ‘from fatal critical injuries’)

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 2
‘Prefab meal’ should be ‘Prefab Meal’ (as every other item is capitalised)

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 3
‘Water bottle’ should be ‘Water Bottle’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 4
‘“Bug Juice” protein drink’ should be “Bug Juice” Protein Drink’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 5
‘Carbonated beverage’ should be ‘Carbonated Beverage’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 6
‘Candy bar’ should be ‘Candy Bar’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 7
‘Free - $1.50/cup’ should be ‘Free–$1.50/cup’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 10
‘$10- $500/bottle’ should be ‘$10–$500/bottle’

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 12
‘$20- $300’ should be ‘$20–$300’

PAGE 101, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 5
‘Shift’ should be ‘Shift.’

PAGE 104, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 3–4
‘What’s the Story Mother’ should be ‘What’s the Story, Mother?’

PAGE 105, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 6
‘scenario’ should be ’scenario.’

PAGE 107, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 2
’Draconis strain’ should be ’Draconis Strain’

PAGE 107, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 4
’Draconis strain to’ should be ’Draconis Strain to’

PAGE 107, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 1
‘This following’ should be ’The following’

PAGE 109, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 9
‘takes keep’ should be ‘takes to keep’

PAGE 110, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 7
‘your shares on’ should be ‘your share on’

PAGE 112, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘Corporate liaison on’ should perhaps be ‘Corporate Liaison on’ to be consistent with the other characters’ descriptions

PAGE 113, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 5
‘spacewalk’ should be ‘spacewalk.’

PAGE 113, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 10
‘Watatsumi Bolt’ should be ‘Watatsumi DV-303 Bolt’

PAGE 113, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 11
‘1 xM4A3’ should be ‘1 x M4A3’

PAGE 115, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 1
‘NOW the’ should be ‘Now the’

PAGE 115, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 1
‘facto Captain of’ should be ‘facto captain of’

PAGE 115, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 6
‘M4A3 Pistol’ should be ‘M4A3 Service Pistol’

PAGE 116, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 5
‘Armat 37A2 12 Shotgun’ should be ‘Armat Model 37A2 12 Gauge Pump Action’

PAGE 116, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 1
‘THE ship’s’ should be ‘The ship’s’

PAGE 116, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 7
‘willing talk’ should be ‘willing to talk’

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 1
‘WHILE cool’ should be ‘While cool’

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 5
‘scientific teams experiments’ should be ’scientific team’s experiments’ (or ’scientific teams’ experiments’)

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 1
‘NOTE that’ should be ‘Note that’

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 5
‘M4A3 Pistol’ should be ‘M4A3 Service Pistol’

PAGE 118, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 2
‘her Twenties’ should be ‘her twenties’

PAGE 119, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘Hired muscle on’ should perhaps be ‘Hired Muscle on’ to be consistent with the other characters’ descriptions

PAGE 121, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 4
‘one’ should be ‘one.’

PAGE 121, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 3
‘her class A’ should be ‘her Class A’

PAGE 126, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 8
‘on C Deck. Condensation’ should be ‘on Deck C. Condensation’

PAGE 126, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 7–8
‘and successful’ should be ‘and a successful’

PAGE 128, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 7
‘It is left’ should be ‘It was left’

PAGE 128, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 7
‘MU/TH/UR before’ should be ‘‘MU/TH/UR 2000 before’

PAGE 131, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 1–2
‘Engineer Ampules that’ should be ‘Engineer ampules that’

PAGE 131, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 2
‘from A–C decks as’ should be ‘from decks A–C as’ (or ‘from Decks A–C as’)

PAGE 132, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 6
‘chemical Quinitricetyline’ should be ‘chemical quinitricetyline’

PAGE 132, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 9
‘Quinitricetyline (one’ should be ‘quinitricetyline (one’

PAGE 132, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 15–16
‘Agent AO-3959X.91.15’ should be ‘Agent A0-3959X.91-15’

PAGE 133 AND 139
Reconnecting the relay to the Cronus’s four engines requires a Shift of work on page 133 (paragraph 2, line 9–10) but ‘getting the engines back online’ requires three Turns on page 139 (paragraph 8, line 2–3), though these might be separate tasks.

PAGE 133, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
‘and If the’ should be ‘and if the’

PAGE 133, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 10
‘minutes) Mother starts’ should perhaps be ‘minutes) MU/TH/UR 2000 starts’

PAGE 134, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 6
‘on C Deck. Deep’ should be ‘on Deck C. Deep’

PAGE 134, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 3
‘repairs’ should be ‘repairs.’

PAGE 135, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1
‘Suddenly, MU/TH/UR/ 6500’ should be ‘Suddenly, MU/TH/UR 6500’

PAGE 135, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 5
‘transmission it is’ should be ‘transmission is’

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 1
‘AWAKES. (MANDATORY)’ should be ‘AWAKES (MANDATORY).’

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 1
‘AGES. (MANDATORY) As’ should be ‘AGES (MANDATORY). As’

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 5
‘droning “warning, cryochambers’ should be ‘droning “Warning, cryochambers’

PAGE 137, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1–2
‘MIGRAINES. (MANDATORY) Soon’ should be ‘MIGRAINES (MANDATORY). Soon’

PAGE 138, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1
‘TRUTHS. (MANDATORY)’ should be ‘TRUTHS (MANDATORY).’

PAGE 138, PARAGRAPH  6, LINE 1
’MINUTES. (MANDATORY)’ should be ‘MINUTES (MANDATORY).’

PAGE 138, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 9
'in T minus' should be ‘in T-minus’

PAGE 139, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘is problem’ should be ‘is a problem’

PAGE 139, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 1
‘PLANS. (MANDATORY)’ should be ‘PLANS (MANDATORY).’

PAGE 139, PARAGRAPH 11, LINE 1–2
‘TENDENCIES. (MANDATORY) Without’ should be ‘TENDENCIES (MANDATORY). Without’

PAGE 142, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 2
’Draconis strain samples’ should be ’Draconis Strain samples’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 1
‘If they PCs’ should be ‘If the PCs’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 7
‘she  ends’ should be ‘she ends’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 7
‘well’ should be ‘well.’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 5
‘however’ should be ‘however.’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 1
‘A suggested’ should be ‘Here’s a suggested’

PAGE 145, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 6
‘cargos’ is spelt ‘cargoes’ on page 106 (paragraph 1, line 6)

PAGE 147, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 2
‘matter what the’ should be ‘matter the’

PAGE 148, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 3
‘942/T2-009R— FROM’ should perhaps be ‘942/T2-009R — FROM’

PAGE 149, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘ It’ should be ‘It’

PAGE 149, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 5
‘as are you’re’ should be ‘as you’re’

PAGE 149, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 9
'to ... kill' should be ’to… kill’

PAGE 150, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 6
‘resolves the’ should be ‘resolve the’

PAGE 150, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 7
‘deadly’ should be ‘deadly.’

PAGE 156, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 8
‘in manner’ should be ‘in a manner’

PAGE 156, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1–2
‘attacks here below’ should be ‘attacks below.’

PAGE 157, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 5
’Draconis strain of’ should be ’Draconis Strain of’

PAGE 157, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
‘subject’s PH levels’ should be ‘subject’s pH levels’

PAGE 157, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 1
’Draconis strain is’ should be ’Draconis Strain is’

PAGE 157, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 4
‘into a NPC’ should be ‘into an NPC’

PAGE 159, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 11
‘Xenomorph XX12, the’ should be ‘Xenomorph XX121, the’

PAGE 160, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 5–6
‘made’ should be ‘made.’

OTHER ERRORS FOUND
The text is frequently out of order, with tables often appearing before the text they relate to. This is particularly noticeable in the section Damage, which appears in the following order: Armor, Recovery, Broken, Getting Back Up, Coup De Grace, Critical Injuries, Death, a full-page illustration, then Healing.

PAGE 5–
The movie each quote comes from is sometimes present (on pages 5, 8, 10, 79, and 92) and sometimes not (on pages 23, 31, 47, 103, and 104).

PAGE 6–
The use of a glyph representing a text cursor (‘■’) is inconsistent. It denotes the end of ship’s logs on pages: 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21 (two times); and the end of in-game examples on pages: 33, 35, 37, 38, 59, 63, 71, and 72. It also denotes the end of some (but not all) sections on pages: 6, 7, 11, 15, 16, 17, 18, 20, 21, 24, 26, 27, 29, 32, 38, 45, 48, 49, 52, 56, 59, 63, 67, 68, 80, 90, 101, 105, 113, 121, 134, 145 (two times), 150, and 156—though note that these are often followed by text or tables belonging to that section.

PAGE 7 AND 107
There is a comma separating the biblical quote on page 7 (‘Revelation, 12:3–4’) but not the one on page 107 (‘Leviticus 11:12’).

PAGE 7–
The capitalisation of ‘xenomorph’ is inconsistent—this is especially noticeable on page 76, where it alternates. It is capitalised (‘Xenomorph’) on pages: 7, 49, 58, 59, 72, 76 (four times), 115 (two times), 142, 150 (11 times), 151 (eight times), 158, and 159 (two times). It is not capitalised (‘xenomorph’) on pages: 24, 29, 76 (seven times), 115, and 150.

PAGE 13, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 1
‘Nostromo’ should be italicised.

PAGE 15, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 9
’some reason ■’ is further down than it should be.

PAGE 20, PARAGRAPH 5, LINE 1
‘NOTE:’ should perhaps be ‘Note:’

PAGE 25, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 11
‘EMPATHY’ is smaller than it should be.

PAGE 31–
Sigourney Weaver’s character is referred to as ‘Lt. Ellen Ripley’ on page 31, ‘Lt. Ripley’ on page 79, ’Warrant Officer Ripley’ on page 92, and just ‘Ripley’ on page 103 (despite all quotes coming from either Alien or Aliens).

PAGE 48, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 1
‘RPG’ is a term that is not defined in the book—the game is referred to as ‘the ALIEN roleplaying game’ elsewhere, not ‘the ALIEN RPG’.

PAGE 48, PARAGRAPH 12, LINE 2
‘RPG’ is a term that is not defined in the book—the game is referred to as ‘the ALIEN roleplaying game’ elsewhere, not ‘the ALIEN RPG’.

PAGE 53, PARAGRAPH 8
The tracking on paragraph 8 (‘Describe your actions.’) is noticeably wider than other paragraphs.

PAGE 54
There are a number of actions that should be included in the list of actions on page 54 that are not, including: helping others (page 55), drawing a melee weapon from its sheath or a belt (page 57), picking up a dropped object (page 58), assuming an overwatch position (page 63), interacting with a signature item (page 68), climbing into a spacesuit quickly (page 71), and putting out a fire (page 72).

PAGE 58, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
‘left at no (6 on a Base Die)’ would make more sense if it were ‘left with no (6 on a Base Die)’

PAGE 59, PARAGRAPH 6–7
Paragraph 6 and paragraph 7 are different colours (though this may be due to differences in the text’s outlines).

PAGE 62, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 7–8
’see the table above’ refers to the ‘Common types of cover’ table which is to the right, on page 63.

PAGE 63, PARAGRAPH 2–4
Paragraph 2, and paragraphs 3 and 4 are different colours (though this may be due to differences in the text’s outlines).

PAGE 67–
‘Scientist’ is incorrectly capitalised on pages 67, 131, 136, and 139—unless it refers to a specific type of player character in the full game.

PAGE 69, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 10
‘losing your next point of action’ is a mechanic that isn’t referenced elsewhere.

PAGE 72, PARAGRAPH 2
Paragraph 2 is a different colour to the other examples (though this may be due to differences in the text’s outlines).

PAGE 72, PARAGRAPH 4
This could be clearer, perhaps: ‘For every range category beyond SHORT, an explosion’s Blast Power is reduced by 6, to a minimum of 0’—though this supposes a particularly powerful explosion can affect a character beyond Medium range.

PAGE 94
The description for ‘Modular Computing Device’ referenced on page 93 is missing

PAGE 99, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 5–10
The description for ‘Candy bar’ and ’Carbonated beverage’ is titled ‘Soda and candy bars’ on page 101 (paragraph 4, line 1), and the description for ‘Beer’ and ‘Hard Liquor’ is titled ‘Beer and Booze’ on page 101 (paragraph 7, line 1). This might be confusing for someone who doesn’t know that they’re the same thing, especially if their first language is not English.

PAGE 101, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 2–3
‘Planetside colony grub can be a better thing’ should perhaps be ‘Planetside colony grub can be a good thing’

PAGE 107–
The capitalisation of ‘motes’ is inconsistent. It is capitalised on pages: 107, 117, 126, 130, 131, 138 (two times), 144, 153 (two times), and 154. It is not capitalised on pages: 130 (two times), and 153 (two times).

PAGE 111, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘You’ is smaller than it should be.

PAGE 112, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘You’ve’ is smaller than it should be.

PAGE 114–
The name of the USCSS Montero’s computer is referred to as ‘MU/TH/UR 6500’ on pages: 135 (2 times), 137, and 138 (2 times); ‘MU/TH/UR’ on page 114; and ‘Mother’ on pages: 135 (five times), 138 (two times), and 139. Since there are potentially two MU/TH/URs active in the scenario at any one time, it would reduce confusion if they were referred to consistently as either MU/TH/UR 6500 or MU/TH/UR 2000.

PAGE 114
The map of the USCSS Montero is missing a scale.

PAGE 115–
The capitalisation of ‘adult Neomorph’ is inconsistent. It is capitalised (‘Adult Neomorph’) on page 156 (two times). It is not capitalised (‘adult Neomorph’) on pages: 115, 131, 136 (two times), and 155.

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 2
‘Full Name: Lori’ should be ‘FULL NAME: Lori’

PAGE 117, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 3
‘Age: 42’ should be ‘AGE: 42’

PAGE 121, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 8
‘Prometheus’ should be italicised

PAGE 121, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 2
’successful Analyze roll’ should perhaps be ’successful ANALYZE roll’

PAGE 122
There are three ‘[1]’s in the Cronus’ Technical Specifications (after ‘Length’, ‘Width’, and ‘Height’) that don’t seem to refer to anything.

PAGE 123
The EEV in the Corporate Suite on Deck B is (perhaps) missing an escape pod icon.

PAGE 124
The room above Junction C-1 is missing an airlock icon.

PAGE 131, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 1
‘Medic’ is incorrectly capitalised—unless it refers to a specific type of player character in the full game.

PAGE 135, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 15
'Cronus' should be italicised.

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 5
‘can Analyze the’ should perhaps be ‘can ANALYZE the’

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 8
‘Company Rep’ is incorrectly capitalised—unless it refers to a specific type of player character in the full game.

PAGE 140–
A colon is used to seperate the stage and name of the Abomination (‘Abomination Stage III: “Mutant”’, on pages 140, and 157–159) whereas a dash is later used to seperate the stage and name of the Neomorph (‘Stage IV - Juvenile Neomorph’, on pages 152–156).

PAGE 141, PARAGRAPH 8, LINE 16
‘something ALIEN.’ should perhaps be ‘something alien.’

PAGE 142, PARAGRAPH 10, LINE 1
’NOTE: Only’ should perhaps be ‘Note: Only’

PAGE 144, PARAGRAPH 9, LINE 15
‘going to be okay.’ is further down than it should be.

PAGE 151, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 17
‘be Analyzed with’ should perhaps be ‘be ANALYZED with’

PAGE 154–
‘ENGAGED from a target’ would make more sense if it were ‘ENGAGED with a target’. It appears on pages 154 (paragraph 5, line 8), 155 (paragraph 4, line 8), and 156 (paragraph 3, line 8).

PAGE 154–
The capitalisation of ‘juvenile Neomorph’ is inconsistent. It is capitalised (‘Juvenile Neomorph’) on page 155. It is not capitalised (‘juvenile Neomorph’) on pages 154 and 155 (three times).

PAGE 155, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 9
‘sharp-tipped tail’ should perhaps be ‘sharp tail’ (or ‘tipped tail’)

PAGE 157, PARAGRAPH 6, LINE 11
‘Caustic’ generally refers to bases, not acids. A better word might be ‘corrosive’.

PAGE 160
The ‘Critical Injuries’ table doesn’t specify what unit ‘Health Time’ is in—Shifts, Turns, or Rounds.

OTHER FEEDBACK
Are we likely to see the same problems Modiphius Entertainment had with Star Trek Adventures? They printed a black background on a gloss or semi-gloss stock and as a result the whole line is prone to oil stains with even the lightest of use.

PAGE 2–
There doesn’t seem to be a rationale for the order in which the skills are presented throughout the book or on the character sheet. Putting them in alphabetical order would make it easier to reference while both reading the book and running the game—for example: Agility (Mobility, Piloting, Ranged Combat), Empathy (Command, Manipulation, Medical Aid), Strength (Close Combat, Heavy Machinery, Stamina), Wits (Comtech, Observation, Survival).

PAGE 16–
Would you consider using gender-neutral pronouns when referring to a player or character whose gender is unknown—for example: ‘he or she’, ‘him or her’, ‘his or hers’—instead of alternating between the male and female gender for each example, which can be confusing?

PAGE 29–
The concept of ‘heavy’ and ‘light’ items isn’t acknowledged after page 29 (except for two of the suits on page 90). Would you consider abandoning it, as an item’s Weight does effectively the same thing?

PAGE 39, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 7
‘You’re hardened by the experience, and don’t need to roll to overcome the exact same challenge in the future’ seems to suggest that if a character survives the vacuum of space once, they don’t ever need to roll to do it again.

PAGE 40–
It's never stated that you can't choose the same stunt more than once in a single action, except as an exception to the 'inflict additional damage' stunts for Close Combat and Ranged Combat, and the ‘decrease damage’ effect for Blocking.

PAGE 40, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 6–9
As part of the ‘outmaneuver your enemy’ stunt it states that ‘you can’t go back to your earlier initiative’—does this mean that the same enemy can’t later use the same stunt on you, trading initiatives back?

PAGE 40, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 19–20
‘This effect only works on humanoid opponents’ might be misconstrued as including Xenomorphs, which could be considered humanoid aliens (being bipedal, with a head and opposable thumbs). It also appears on page 58 (two times). ‘Humans and synthetics’ might be a better way to phrase it.

PAGE 45, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 8–9
‘Your opponent has suffered damage to any attribute’ is a mechanic that isn’t referenced elsewhere.

PAGE 54
Would you consider marking which of the actions listed on page 54 can break the initiative order?

PAGE 54, PARAGRAPH 2, LINE 8
‘Grapple attack’ should perhaps be ‘Attack while grappling’, for clarity.

PAGE 71–
There doesn’t seem to be a rationale for how the Other Hazards section is organised. Putting the hazards in alphabetical order would make it easier to reference while both reading the book and running the game—for example: Conditions (Dehydrated, Exhausted, Freezing, Starving), Disease, Drowning, Explosions, Falling, Fire, Radiation, Suffocation, Synthetics, Vacuum, Xenomorphs.

PAGE 76, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 4–6
Can a Xenomorph perform two fast actions, instead of a fast and a slow action, like humans?

PAGE 81–
Since their column headings are the same, would you consider combining the Pistols (page 81), Rifles (page 82), Heavy Weapons (page 86), and Close Combat Weapons (page 88) tables into one table? Likewise, would you consider doing the same for the Data Storage and Diagnostics And Display (page 93), Vision Devices (page 95), Tools and Medical Supplies (page 97), Pharmaceuticals (page 98), and Food And Drink (page 99) tables? This would save space, and make the book easier to reference.

PAGE 99
Would you consider rounding the cost of a cup of coffee to a whole dollar amount like every other item, making it easier to track?

PAGE 127 AND 129
The sections titled ‘Environment on the Cronus’ and 'Doors on the Cronus’ would be more useful if they were presented before the deck-by-deck descriptions.

PAGE 162–
Would you consider removing the black background on the character sheet at least, as this is likely to be the page most copied?

PAGE 162–
Would you consider moving the Stress Level, Health, Radiation, Critical Injuries, Conditions, and Consumables sections to the right-hand side of the character sheet, swapping them with the Experience Points, Story Points, and gear sections? These are the most likely to change and, since most people are right-handed, it would make them that much easier to access.

PAGE 162–
Would you consider listing the conditions on the character sheet in alphabetical order—Dehydrated, Exhausted, Freezing, Starving?

PAGE 162–
Would you consider combining the Weapons and Gear sections of the character sheet, as weapons have to be tracked as gear anyway? This would make more room for the Tiny Items and Signature Item sections.
Last edited by adrianplanet on Mon 17 Jun 2019, 11:51, edited 2 times in total.
 
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CynicalMo
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Thu 13 Jun 2019, 19:57

 
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VaeVictis9
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Fri 14 Jun 2019, 23:10

I applaud you. That looks to have taken quite a bit of time and effort to compile together.

I also like your OTHER FEEDBACK
 
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aramis
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Sat 15 Jun 2019, 04:22

I have a few things that are bugging me... mine are layout, not typos. (I'm too dyslexic to catch most typos.)

but first, the related thank you: thank you, Fria Ligan, for the PDF being its own printer-friendly version... that is very, very much appreciated.

But....
  1. The maps are in the same layer as the black starfield background. This makes them not printer-friendly
  2. the text boxes of black on light green have white highlights; it would be nice to have a black outline version in a lower-than-background layer, so that the visual organization can be kept without the green field eating ink/toner.
  3. The blank sheet isn't form fillable.
—————————————————————————
Smith & Wesson: the original point and click interface...
 
adrianplanet
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Mon 17 Jun 2019, 11:52

I have updated my original post now that I've submitted my feedback on the Cinematic Starter Kit.
 
hibishop
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Thu 20 Jun 2019, 21:28

Spacing issues (not previously identified).

PAGE 135, LINE 1
‘AC T I :’ should be ‘ACT I:’

PAGE 135, LINE 1
‘B OX’ should be ‘BOX’

PAGE 135, PARAGRAPH 3, LINE 1
‘(MANDATORY ) .’ should be ‘(MANDATORY).’

PAGE 135, PARAGRAPH 4, LINE 1
‘(MANDATORY ) .’ should be ‘(MANDATORY).’

PAGE 136, PARAGRAPH 1, LINE 1
‘(MANDATORY ) .’ should be ‘(MANDATORY).’

PAGE 138, LINE 1
‘AC T I I : T H E LO N G N I G H T’ should be ‘ACT II:  THE LONG NIGHT’
 
PAGE 140, LINE 1
‘ABOMINAT I O N STAG E I I : “ M U TANT”’ should be ‘ABOMINATION STAGE II: “MUTANT”
 
PAGE 142, LINE 1
‘AC T I I I : D I V I D E D W E FA L L’ should be ‘ACT III: DIVIDED WE FALL’
 
PAGE 147, PARAGRAPH 7, LINE 1
‘THE INFECTION SPREADS .’ should be ‘THE INFECTION SPREADS.’  
 
PAGE 145, LINE 1
‘I T I S N ’ T O V E R U N T I L I T ’ S OV E R’ should be ‘IT ISN’T OVER UNTIL IT’S OVER’
 
PAGE 145, EPILOGUE, LINE 1
‘AG E N DAS &’ should be ‘AGENDAS &’
 
PAGE 145, EPILOGUE, LINE 2
‘S TORY P O I N T S’ should be ‘STORY POINTS’
 
adrianplanet
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Fri 21 Jun 2019, 01:08

Good spot! That sort of tracking should be have been done with Paragraph or Character Styles (if they used InDesign), rather than the space bar.
 
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aramis
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Fri 21 Jun 2019, 02:51

Good spot! That sort of tracking should be have been done with Paragraph or Character Styles (if they used InDesign), rather than the space bar.
Agreed! 

My big issue is that the layers have the character illos and the maps on the background layer. 
—————————————————————————
Smith & Wesson: the original point and click interface...
 
hibishop
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Mon 24 Jun 2019, 22:07

Recommend defining 'FTL'. 

The first mention of 'faster than light' is on page 10, under 'THIS IS RUMOR CONTROL Stories spread faster than light on the Frontier.'

The first instance 'FTL drive' is also on page 10, under 'Ship's Log, USCSS MIRANDA, 015:09. CAPTAIN CHARLIZE RECORDING. We engaged the FTL drive at 014:30'
 
hibishop
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Re: Cinematic Starter Kit feedback

Sun 30 Jun 2019, 14:57

Recommend defining 'EEV'.  

The first mention of 'EEV' is on page 117, under 'CLAYTON, COMPANY AGENT':  "NOTE that only Clayton has the codes to the wall safe and the EEV in her quarters on Deck B of the Cronus."

(EEV = Emergency Escape Vehicle)
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