Page 238: "From Mira, Coriolis, and Dabaran, the matriarchs and patriarchs rule the Church, living in life bonds with one another but without children, as they are firmly devoted to the Icons only." Unnecessary comma.
Page 237: "Only a few asteroid communities or very remote space stations keep from burning their dead, instead letting the station’s recycling systems take care of the corpses, but this is a custom of bad, almost unholy, repute .. " Should either be one full stop or three but not two ...
Page 236: "is confession s of one’s failings and lies, and remorseful penance." Makes no sense to be plural here, should most likely be " confession ". "Offerings to the Traveler are usually a knotted hemp rope or crude string, or a figurine of a ship, a dromedon, a hors...
Page 234: "Myth and folklore across the Horizon usually describe s the Gambler as a trickster, [...]" Since there are two subjects, the verb should be conjugated as follows: " describe ". "On Mira, one incarnate of the Gambler is the Ensnarer who comes for the cowardly an...
Page 233:
"Sometimes woman, sometimes man, but most times androg- ynous and ungendered like the hijras." The word cut should be as follows: "Sometimes woman, sometimes man, but most times andro- gynous and ungendered like the hijras."
Page 232:
"In some places they are even praised under different names, but accordingto the Church of Icons, they are still the same Icons." The comma should be after "but": "names but, according".
Page 230:
"A Zalosian version of the prophet songs is the chant choirs, although they often end in revels of flagellation." It should be "are the chant choirs", because the latter are the actual subject of the verb.
Pages 228-229: " O n Coriolis and in cities with a strong Consortium pres- enc e, you will find the Bulletin’s terminals, connected through the encrypted infonet." This sentence is between both pages. First is the wrong space at the beginning. It should be of course " On ". Th...
Page 227:
"Travel, once reserved for a select few, is now in bloom across all the systems." I believe you should prefer "blooming", to make the sentence lighter.