I realize this isn't the kind of feedback you are looking for, but I think that the references to Mithril need some more consistency, or more explanation.
on p14 you have said:
"Since the fall of Moria, no more Mithril has been mined, except by the Orcs."
Then on p168:
"The Orcs dare not dig for Mithril..."
Are orcs capable of refining Mithril ore? Some of your dwarven NPC's in the book are having a difficult time with that so it would be difficult to imagine an orc succeeding at it.
There is a good deal about sending it as tribute to Gundabad or the Necromancer, but I'm not sure why that would be the case. I have never read an instance of an Orc or Goblin using mithril and I'm not sure they would have a use for it, except to keep dwarves from having it.
All that is just to say that you are welcome to your own interpretation of these things, but I think you need to justify it a little better.
On p. 185, under True Mithril, this is explained clearly:
"The Dwarves learned a way to process native Mithril into ‘true’ Mithril, preserving the metal’s beauty while making it much stronger. The art of this metalcraft is not entirely lost — the Dwarves still remember how to do it, but they lack access to a supply of native Mithril.
The technique was also preserved — or rediscovered — in the forges of Mordor, and now Sauron’s smiths take the native Mithril smuggled out of Moria and make it anew into true Mithril (or worse, Sullied Mithril).
While the smelters and forges needed to make true Mithril still exist in Moria, none of the Orcs know the secret techniques required."
Interpreting the author's intentions, it thus seems clear that the Orcs are unable to refine Mithril beyond its 'native' form, but instead use it as a valuable tribute to Mordor (as is hinted at in various passages), where Sauron can turn it into True or Sullied Mithril, or to Mount Gundabad, where Gorgol can use it in turn as a tribute to Mordor (or, arguably, for other purposes, for example to bribe evil men and other creatures interested in the precious metal).
Perhaps the reason for the confusion only lies in that one sentence on p. 168 about Orcs not daring to dig it, but it may refer only to the Mithril's veins in the Den of Forgotten Stars, since
"The Orcs dare not risk traversing the lowest portions of the mines, especially not the veins under Caradhras where Durin’s Bane dwells. However, they have reopened the older iron mines for their own purposes." (The Mines, p. 168).
It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till.
